"When you speak the unspeakable, you give permission to others to speak about it."
Dr. Erica Goldblatt Hyatt
DSW Program Director, Rutgers University School of Social Work
Adult Sibling Loss: Barriers to Facing Grief
There is no timeframe for grief. However, some siblings may encounter barriers or obstacles that make grief processes more difficult. It is crucial to acknowledge these barriers to ensure that siblings understand that their feelings are normal, and they have the support of others during this difficult period in their lives. It informs others that sibling grief is individualized and should be addressed with empathy and understanding of their lived experience.
Manner of Death
Manner of death significantly impacts bereaved siblings. When a sibling dies suddenly or through unnatural means (accident, suicide, homicide), it can complicate the grieving process and alter one's beliefs and worldview. These shifts in attitudes and perspectives cause barriers to grief that may take years to work through.
Dr. Erica Goldblatt Hyatt describes the stigma and impact associated with traumatic losses.
Invalidation
Many siblings find that their loss is often minimized or disenfranchised during their bereavement journey. This invalidation significantly impacts grievers because it sends an incorrect message that they don't have the right to grieve or their grief is not worthy of being acknowledged.
Dr. Heidi Horsley recounts the difficulties she experienced trying to secure funding to work with bereaved siblings from the 9/11 terrorist attacks.